Walk of Shame

Step out too early in the morning wearing what seems to be appropriate for an event at a previous nightly hour that might or might not have led to something else, and you'll feel it.

Unadulterated shame.

Remove the hangover because you don't have one, remove exciting night memories because you have none either, and conclude that this walk of shame is only shameful because of what you are wearing.  Glances come and go and self consciousness towards your little number might even inspire the urge to give passers by an explanation.  But you are not sure they've noticed and you are definitely sure they don't care.  Still, you practice the narrative "excuse me Sir, you see, I just dress like this because I fancy it. I am not the kind of girl who wakes up other than at home and wears yesterday's clothes the morning after."  

In the imaginative conversation you will see these people roll their eyes at you for either interrupting their morning commute with nonsense or most likely, because you just only brought up to their level of consciousness something that would have drifted off by mid step. All this annoyance will lie below the underlying question "how can she not notice she is making a fool of herself?"

By noon, the little number camouflages itself, it now belongs.  It falls into accord with the scene and the moment, but in some cases, the self conscious emotions stirred up by walk of shame remain. What happens is that I decided to pay attention to something different. The emotions.  I like them.  I love the stirred up belly and the rush of arranging a look that I just came up with using clothes that I've had forever to welcome a new pair of earrings or a new mind frame I woke up with.

Let's decide this awkwardness comes from the fact that being true to yourself is, by definition, awkward.  The complete opposite is being like someone else, but this is what is most comfortable.  Like when you wear a uniform to school.  There is no expressive quality in that and sadly it gives us a comfort zone we end up striving for. It is surely comfortable to blend in.  So, that which you wouldn't allow yourself in a conversation you could end up doing in the narrative of what you are wearing; being complacent and agreeing with everybody else.

To achieve a style you feel most authentic with, do as we are told to do in conversation.  Listen before you speak. Absorb the nuances, the body language.  Merge these new insights with your mind frame and only then, you are ready to express your own.

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